Tag Archives: gender identity

What to do if you use the wrong pronouns for me

Update, 8/10/16: I’ve received a few requests to use this blog post in workplace trainings or classrooms. I’m delighted that people are finding my writing useful, and I’d be thrilled if people circulated it to others who might find it helpful. I’ve converted this post into Word documents–one that retains all the original content, and one with the content reshaped and the curse words removed, for people who work or teach in contexts where swearing is inappropriate. Two Read more

A quick primer on queer theory and the heterosexual matrix

Let’s talk about the fiction of the gender binary.

This fiction is pretty simple: There’s a story our culture tells us about identity. This story convinces us that gender is an either/or proposition. Your options in the drop-down gender box are to mark 1 for male, 0 for female. There are no other options. There is nothing in between. There is nothing off to one side. There isn’t even an “other” or “not applicable” box to mark.

The fiction of … Read more

Today a physician asked me which name I prefer…

…because on the intake form I had crossed off my legal name, Jenna, and written “Jacob” instead. And when the doctor checked in to confirm which name I preferred, I was moved almost to tears. That’s how low the bar is for us trans* folk–we can’t even expect our doctors to honor our names.

I was there because of shoulder pain, and the doctor looked at my shoulder and never asked me to explain my gender identity and I was … Read more

time for the Bleeding Heartland Roller Girls to protest the WFTDA gender policy

My local NPR station, WFIU, just aired an hourlong conversation with members of the Bleeding Heartland Rollergirls (BHRG), our town’s roller derby league.

I’m an enormous roller derby fan, and I love BHRG just to absolute pieces. One of the reasons I love my local team so much is that its skaters are all up in gender’s grill. It’s an extremely queer league, with tons of genderqueers peppering the roster.

Which is why I’ve been so confused by BHRG’s silence … Read more

on straight dudes posing as lesbians

As my pal Wessel says, on the Internet nobody knows you’re a dude.

You may have heard of these two recent stories:

1. Gay Girl in Damascus is really a Straight Guy in Scotland:

The life of Amina Arraf was a good story. On a website called “Gay Girl in Damascus,” this purportedly Syrian-American lesbian blogger wrestled with issues surrounding her national identity, her sexuality, her faith, and the future of her country at a time

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