Monthly Archives: February 2009

How to survive: A public service announcement for the readers of sleeping alone

Because I’m here to serve you, today I offer you a plethora of help-sites and advice for surviving extreme accidents.

Surviving a Plane Crash: Sit in the Back
Common wisdom dictates that if your plane starts plummeting to earth, it doesn’t matter where you’re sitting&#8212you’re gonna be incinerated, smashed to bits, fully submerged in the ocean, perhaps eaten by sharks or crocodiles. In fact, a study of recent plane crashes suggests a high rate of survivability, as Tim Jepsen explains … Read more

A moment of silence for Michiganders

I don’t have children. I don’t own a house or a car. I have little money invested in the stock market. My job is secure, though I will be leaving it this summer to begin graduate study.

On the one hand, all of this makes me feel pathetically disconnected to the social and economic structures that bind and connect us all.

On the other hand, it means the recession that has gnawed through America’s economy has left me relatively unscathed.… Read more

Iconoclasts: Nietzsche into Sunset; Eastwood into Sunset

There he goes
consistently stoic and lean, unsinging
there he goes stricken and fluid and strung
so tight each line springs from his face and down
to the floor sings gently down his face to the floor.
Now he’s protecting beauty like it’s thighs
spread taut against the wall, now the wall
dissolves into thighs. He respects sidewalks
and copyright law, he leans like a chimney. Now he runs
for mayor of some town that has no need: Our man… Read more

Why I like to crochet

I don’t want to aggrandize a hobby, and I certainly don’t want to turn odiously philosophical about it. But I do so love to crochet.

Part of the attraction is the act of making something out of nothing: To crochet means to pick up mechanically and perfectly ordered skeins of yarn, unwind them, and remake them into something perfectly ordered in a completely different way. Watching this happen, and knowing it came from the work of my two hands, is … Read more

Dissent within the United Republic of Facebook

According to recent measurements, Facebook now has more than 175 million members and is growing by an average of 600,000 new members per day. As marketing analyst Justin Smith points out, “if Facebook were a country, it would now be the 6th most populous in the world.”

Now that we’re country-sized, we should really think about getting a flag and an anthem. And we should seriously consider regulating the recent trend of Facebook members posting self-absorbed notes describing … Read more

zomg these guys are so racist

I just found out about American Renaissance Magazine, a disgusting neo-conservative platform for justifying loathsomely cretinous attitudes toward race clearinghouse for neo-conservative articles that support white supremacist beliefs. I’m finding it impossible, actually, to describe this site in a way that could be remotely considered unbiased, so I’ll just let it speak for itself:

American Renaissance is a monthly magazine that has been published since 1991. It has been called “a literate, undeceived journal of race, immigration and the decline
Read more

The Professor Is Sorry: Or, earn a degree on your iPod in just two months!

I was recently directed to the following TV commercial presented by Kaplan University:

On the one hand, I kinda love the message of this commercial. On the other hand, I want to kill the messenger. Kind of. I think.

The commercial is for Kaplan University, which bills itself as an institution of higher learning dedicated to providing innovative undergraduate, graduate, and continuing professional education. The site proclaims with pride:

Our programs foster student learning with opportunities to launch, enhance,

Read more

It already happened; nobody noticed

This is one of my favorite quotes in the universe:

“There won’t be schools in the future…. I think the computer will blow up the school. That is, the school defined as something where there are classes, teachers running exams, people structured in groups by age, following a curriculum– all of that. The whole system is based on a set of structural concepts that are incompatible with the presence of the computer… But this will happen only in communities of
Read more